These are engraved gold on red marble keychains in an individually numbered edition of 25. You'll be on the 400 level, exclusively reserved for our executive suites. Take the private elevator.
Please enjoy this calming sleep mask, package of soothing bath salts, luxurious chocolate, and hotel pen with our compliments. Additionally, you will find that America's Funnyman Neil Hamburger himself has hand signed a welcome note for you. Keep this souvenir as a priceless, cherished memento for the rest of your life.